Turbo Racer 3D Review (Android)

Another game on Google Play with "Racing" in the title, but doesn't actually have any racing in it. Not to be confused with Turbo Racer 3D, Turbo Racer 2015,  The other turbo Racing 3D, or any other clone of the same Traffic Dodging game template Unity 3D comes bundled with. Trust me, this one is worse.

Gameplay:

You start the game with the shittiest looking menu screen of all time, curiously lacking an options menu, only to play the game, and be greeted with exactly one track to choose from. But don't worry; the game gives you a selection to choose from. You can choose between a properly lit Manhattan bridge, to a slightly darker version of the same bridge, with the same sky dome as before, only looking like someone's vacuum cleaner exploded on everything.

Playing the game is just like every other traffic dodging title, only shit. The camera stays stuck in the sky, bearing down at you GTA style, yet is stuck to your ass like Yaweh himself glued an antenna on the back of your car and mounted a CCTV camera to the end of it. The camera stays up there like swimwear, making the practice of driving fast while dangerously dodging cars, (you know, the whole point of the game?) like trying to limbo while wearing a body cast.

The absolute worst part about this game is the fact that every time you crash, and I mean EVERY FUCKING TIME, you are greeted to a full screen Google Ad that requires a Bluetooth stylus and the precision of a fucking brain surgeon to click out of without accidentally opening the Google Play store.

To make matters worse, the traffic on the road has a nasty tendency to teleport to another lane, while driving at high speed; bullshitting you into a wreck that you clearly avoided.

Graphics:

Don't let the screenshots on Google Play fool you: This game looks like it was made by your ten-year-old sister and ported to the original Sony Playstation.

The gameplay looks fuck-all like the screenshots; sporting pixelated textures and null lighting effects that look like this game is being emulated on the N-Guage. I've seen better graphics in Daytona USA for the Sega Saturn.

Interface:

There is no options screen, so you can't change the steering sensitivity, controls, camera angle, graphics quality, or anything else for that matter.

Conclusion:

This game perpetuates the stareotype surrounding most android titles: a boring semi-arcade style clone of another game, that exists for the sole purpose of molesting the player with Google ads. I prefer to think, however, that this game was made by an amateur who made their first game, and like all first games made by aspiring developers, turned out to be shit.

Publisher: GameDivision
Genre: Racing
Rating: E (Everyone 10+)
Platform: Android

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